Thursday, April 27, 2006

Apes Demand Their Rights

From the Spanish Herald:

The Spanish Socialist Party will introduce a bill in the Congress of Deputies calling for "the immediate inclusion of (simians) in the category of persons, and that they be given the moral and legal protection that currently are only enjoyed by human beings." The PSOE's justification is that humans share 98.4% of our genes with chimpanzees, 97.7% with gorillas, and 96.4% with orangutans.

We also share a very high percentage of genes with mice (you know... the whole "mammal" thing). I think that they should demand their rights as well. Once they have their "human rights", then they will surely call for and end to any of the nasty research on them that humans are always doing trying to come up with their stupid cures for silly deseases like Cystic Fibrosis and Muscular Dystrophy and Multiple Sclerosis. Not to mention the common cold or that goofy bird flu that might mutate in a human to human transmittable form any day now. So yes, by all means lets give all the animals their right starting with the chimps (but we should definitely prioritize so let's give the cute and furry ones their rights first, because they're sooooooooo cute and cuddly. The lizards and snakes will have to wait their turn.).




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